Diagnoses

BY: KIANA BLAKE-CHUNG

I remember the day I told my psychiatrist I think I have ADHD and she responded that she “didn’t want to label me.” 

I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes at her so hard. As it was, I stared blankly and nodded. How backwards is it that even psychiatrists fall victim to stigmatizing diagnoses?

I personally agree with a statement Adiana made in My Diagnosis, My SuperPower, My Kryptonite: “I always considered this diagnosis a blessing. Finally, there was something tangible to my mood cycles.”

I said something similar years ago that I’ve accepted my diagnosis as a disability because for me, having that label and the terminology to announce my ailment gave me the tools to address what was going on in my mind. 

In this age of social media there are so many people who are sharing their symptoms online bringing awareness to mental illnesses and neurodivergences alike. It can be helpful to have so much of this content floating around the internet because people who may have once been uncertain or even clueless can identify with what they’ve seen and experienced and begin to question what they know of themselves and if they should seek more resources. 

(I personally don’t vilify people who self diagnose because I know how hard a formal diagnosis can be to come by.)

If, however, you are seeking a diagnosis because you’d like to be treated for what ails you, then here are a few tips:

First, if you do not have psychiatric help, you have to find professional help. I wrote a blog post all about how to go about doing that, so take a gander and then come back to this. 

Okay, now you have professional help, but how do you share your concerns with them?

If you found something relatable online, the next step is share the content with your provider and share why it was relatable to you. 

I began to question whether or not I was bipolar when I read a Twitter thread about it. I wrote about this revelation in my upcoming memoir:

“I walked downstairs and into the kitchen one Fall morning of 2016, after reading a very informative thread on Twitter.com. The poster was stating what going through different bipolar cycles was like for them and I found that I could relate to much of what they said. Periods of time where I felt increasingly energized despite lack of sleep, racing thoughts and a desire to do everyfuckingthing I thought of were called mania, I learned. I saw myself. Those same periods of time were interlaced with acerbic insults I would spit in moments of intense irritability — I could identify with this. On the flip side, periods of time that would stretch like molasses, where I had difficulty functioning, where the weight of my bones and muscles inside my skin felt heavy and it was all I could do to trudge through life in early onset rigor mortis. I knew that intimately. Yes, this seemed to be the nomenclature for what I felt. I direct messaged the writer of this thread and told them that I think I might be bipolar and what do I do? They told me to get tested by a doctor.”

Second, gather evidence in your life about why you think the information applies to you. Include specific examples of how you relate to the symptoms you read about.

To some degree, many people experience mild symptoms of various mental illnesses. Doctors can rebuttal that certain things are commonplace and dismiss your concerns. If you can share concrete examples about the degree to which you experience a symptom and show how that symptom negatively impacts your life and proves harmful to you or others around you, your doctor can more easily identify the needs at hand. 

For example: nobody took my claims of ADHD seriously until I told my therapist a story about how I turned on my oven to make pizza rolls, two hours later I still hadn’t put the pizza rolls in the oven (I forgot all about them) and I went to go to Juicy Crab because I was so hungry. When I came home I discovered I’d left the oven on the whole time and the soggy pizza rolls on the counter. I thought my story was frustrating because I hadn’t stuck to my budget but my therapist was appalled that I had left the house with the oven on which could have put the physical safety of myself and my family at jeopardy. 

An lastly, it is helpful, when dealing with doctors, to come prepared. I write out lists of what I want to say to make sure I don’t miss anything I wanted to say during the visit. If going to the doctor makes you nervous, practice with a parent or a friend what you’d like to say first.

And if your provider allows, having an advocate like a parent or a trusted friend present while you talk to them can be extremely helpful and give you confidence to bring forth concerns you otherwise may be tempted to sweep under the rug, not to mention it can also keep you accountable to sharing the more difficult or vulnerable aspects. 

Be patient when searching for answers and know that it may take some time to get them, especially if your doctor hasn’t known you for very long and hasn’t been able to identify the telling signs for themself. I recognize that this is a difficult process and none of this advice is one-size-fits-all. There are, unfortunately, many difficult psychiatrists and therapists out there who seek only to invalidate your experiences. I’ve had a couple of them. My wish for you is that your concerns be taken seriously and every visit you have to a therapist or doctor leaves you feeling seen and heard. 

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