Getting Professional Help: A How-to Guide
Finding professional help can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. I know, because I’ve done it a few times and can speak specifically for the best way to go about it in New York City and in Georgia.
First I would just like to say: if you are beginning this journey towards bettering yourself/ taking care of your mental health: CONGRATULATIONS! If, like me, you are starting at the bottom (without health insurance) don’t worry because there are still plenty of options available for you. (& just like Gina Rodriguez, I’m here to help you research, mamas!)
Captured by: Hope Adams Photography
Quick story time: I lost my health insurance when I had to drop out of school in 2018. My therapist at the time agreed to keep seeing me for $50 a session. When I left my main job it was no longer feasible to spend $200 a month on therapy. I got in touch with my cousin who worked for NYC’s mental health peer services and she suggested for me to get Medicaid ASAP. (Many mental illnesses qualify as a disability, and you can get help more easily.)
There are websites to search and numbers to call but the quickest and most painless way was for me to visit the hospital. I went to Mt. Sinai in midtown where they have people whose job it is to help facilitate the Medicaid process. I had to bring in my identification paperwork as well as proof of address and four consecutive pay stubs. I was signed up that same day for Metro Plus.
Once I had health insurance I was directed to the website where I was able to research clinics that took my insurance plan. I was overjoyed to see that there was one right down the block, and then learned that no, that was the wrong facility and to get to the mental health portion of the clinic I’d have to transfer trains twice. At my hour long intake meeting with a social worker I informed them that I wanted a Black woman doctor and therapist and my requests were granted.
Likewise for those that have health insurance, look on your website for the list of doctors or clinics that are in network. I was helping a friend do this the other day and we found a phone number to call where they even do all the heavy research for you. Each insurance company is different but I promise the information is somewhere on those websites. (Groans, I know, I hate web research too.)
Captured by: Hope Adams Photography
More recently, and now located in Georgia, when I was told that I wouldn’t be accepted for Medicaid I hit google in search of sliding scale clinics in my area. Sliding scale clinics use your income to determine an affordable amount to pay for services. I found a clinic near me that required proof I had been denied Medicaid, as well as a few pay stubs, my birth certificate, social, and my driver’s license and an application packet that they provided. Luckily for me the clinic I found actually has a grant that enables them to help those denied Medicaid at no cost. My only expense comes from the cost of my prescription. Pro-tip, good-RX is your best friend if you don’t have insurance. Using the pharmacy at your local grocery store will get you cheaper meds than using a CVS, Rite Aid or Walgreens/ Duane Reade (fyi).
So, now that you have found someone to see and figured out the payment what can you expect from a first session? Every intake meeting I’ve ever had has been so emotionally exhausting because we spend a good hour or two discussing all of the trauma I’ve ever experienced. It can be a lot, but you also want to make sure that you learn a little bit about your therapist too!
One of my instagram mutuals, Dr. Kali Hobson is a board certified child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist. She wrote a great list of questions to ask your therapist during your first session.
What is your approach to therapy? There are many different methods of therapy for different needs. The method that is most used in treating people with BPD is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It would serve you well to find someone who is skilled in the method of therapy best suited to your needs, which you may not know yet what those are and that’s okay too.
What experience do you have in treating my current challenges?
Do you tend to lead sessions or follow my lead?
Do you focus more on the present or past? I once had a therapist who was very concerned with healing my inner child which I would have been more amenable if I hadn’t been in the middle of a long lasting more current crisis. This led to some frustration on my part.
How will we know if therapy is working or not working? (Or for a psychiatrist: how long should it take for me to notice a change on medication before we try a different one?)
What is your approach to confidentiality?
What is your availability between sessions? As part of your safety plan, your therapist might offer their virtual availability for greater support. (Personally, I’ve never remembered to reach out for professional help in the midst of a crisis but it can be comforting to know it’s an offer.)
How much do you charge? Do you take insurance? Do you have a sliding scale? You will have already figured that out by this point so you probably won’t need to ask this question.
What is expected of me to participate in therapy with you? Oftentimes, therapists will give you homework assignments that can include journaling prompts, questions for you to ponder (that you better come back with good answers for), and even worksheets that walk you through certain processes.
Captured by: Hope Adams Photography
If for whatever reason you don’t like their answers to these questions, or you don’t feel like you click with them, go back to the drawing board and try again. Unfortunately for me, my last psychiatrist was not the best match and I went off medication for months just so I could avoid seeing her. Fortunately, the therapist I was matched with was well worth the wait. Because I was in an outpatient program at this busy clinic I was informed that getting a new doctor would be damn near impossible so I had to make do. I was very blessed to have such a great therapist so I didn’t even mind the fact that my psychiatrist was clearly a miss and I patiently stayed with her out of necessity. You deserve to have mental health care providers that you feel comfortable with and that you feel care about you as a person.
Sadly, the above process can take upwards of a few weeks to complete and for those who are experiencing a depressive episode it may seem like entirely too much work to pursue. If you need help, I would suggest finding a friend who can hold you accountable to completing one step at a time and encourage or even assist you in this task. It’s best to begin the process of finding a therapist when you’re not in a crisis so that you’ll be ready for moments when you are. If you were looking for a sign about whether or not to find a therapist, this is it! Good luck on your journey!
Captured by: Hope Adams Photography
S/O to Dr. Kali Hobson for use of her list of questions, and Korin Blake-Chung for editing.
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