Keeping Hope in Dark Times
By: Kiana Blake-Chung
I went to sleep on November 6th at four in the morning desperately wishing for a miracle and telling myself, “Anything could still happen.” When I awoke a few short hours later, I lay in bed, shell-shocked at the thought of a second Trump administration and what that means for me as a Black woman, for my transgender friends, for my friends who immigrated here.
Selfie of me holding up my I voted sticker.
I’d been once again flirting with the temptation of my ideations after a disastrous family vacation in September and I was surprised to find that the election results didn’t immediately increase the seduction. Instead, I felt my fate being decided for me. It struck me that my leaving this earth would make it a worse place. I could no longer pretend that my existence didn’t matter.
The world needs people who care. People will be, and are already, hurting en masse and there are entirely too few healers in the world. I shed tears of frustration that I was being forced to carry on in this way. When they dried, I had a new resolve to fill the world with as much light as I could.
According to data from the Trevor Project, they experienced a 700% increase in calls the day after the election compared to the two weeks prior. I don’t know what the future holds for America or the rest of the world, but I know that even when circumstances are not particularly tough, our minds can often surround us with darkness. Finding and maintaining hope is vital to our survival. Our society teaches us to be self-reliant to our detriment, so participating in thriving communities is going to become necessary —especially for targeted minorities.
Autism- Friendly Ways to Build Community
I watched a TikTok last year that explained how people tend to conflate community with friendship. Friends can definitely be a part of your community, but your community will not always be made up of your friends. Many online articles sharing advice emphasize the importance of talking with others to build community, but that isn't necessarily the easiest option for all neurodivergent people. So, here are some potentially more Autism-friendly ideas to foster community, beyond “Just talk to people!”
Posting fliers around your community is a good way for people to see what you have to offer.
What can you bring to the community and offer others? Do you like to bake? Maybe make an extra batch of cookies to share with neighbors. Do you like crafting? Participating in or leading a crafting event could be a great way to meet people without a large focus on small talk because it’s understood that you might be concentrating on your craft.
Find (or create!) a community board. You can find these at libraries and sometimes at local businesses (like coffee shops). I recently asked my landlord to install one in our building and have been assisting with that process. Create a flyer or a business card to share what you bring to the community and include a way for people to contact you. For instance, if you want to offer a reduced price on child-sitting to single parents, or start any other initiative to give back to your community, a flyer is a good way to let people know. When they reach out, you’ll already have a clear understanding of their expectations. This can be less scary than an open-ended conversation.
Start with, “Hello!” Talking to people is a necessary and unavoidable part of life, but it doesn’t have to be dreadful. Begin to greet people in your neighborhood; it can be as simple as a head nod, or a “good morning/afternoon/evening/night.” These simple greetings will create a sense of familiarity. If they have a dog with them, use it as a vehicle for conversation (this can be more comfortable than talking directly to someone). Work your way up to becoming comfortable with conversations. Remember, everyone you’re close with was once a stranger.
Dogs are great social buffers, especially at parties.
Find Where You Can Help
What injustices stir your heart to take action? What hard and soft skills do you bring to the table? Do some research before you jump right into starting a new passion project. Many organizations already exist for these causes and it can be helpful to have the backing of an established organization when trying to tackle systemic issues. Joining a community care group can not only help you to feel more connected to your community, but it can also give you a sense of purpose that can carry you through lower moments where you might feel insignificant.
Never Stop Seeing the Good
Continue to look for the good in other people and seek out positive news. And share good news when you have it! People love to celebrate the good things that happen to the people they care about. Find beauty in each day and hold onto it. I started writing a weekly list in 2024 called The Best Good Things where I’d share the best thing that happened to me each day that week. Initially, I wrote long lists of good things each day until my brain was trained to notice those good things and relish them in the moment.
A sneak peek of my Instagram story last year.
Take Care of Your Needs
You are less likely to burn out if you go at a pace you can sustain. If you struggle with depression a considerable percentage of the time, that pace is going to be slower than a peer who isn’t hindered by it. You have to learn to accept that (which is something that I also struggle with, so if you have any pointers let me know). Make sure you are sleeping, eating, taking your meds (as prescribed!), and enjoying your life to the best of your ability. Doing this will allow you to give your best self to the cause.
Ask for Help When You Need It
I had a TikTok go viral last year that drove this point home. If you’re only helping others then you’re not experiencing true community. You could just be operating out of a savior mentality. The truth is that all people need to feel needed, and sharing your needs gives others the opportunity to fulfill them, which then gives them a deeper sense of community because they contribute to it. It’s a constant ebb and flow, give and take. You only hinder the growth of your community when you fail to inform said community of your needs. Asking for help also includes reaching out for emotional support if you need it. We have to lean on each other now more than ever.
I urge you not to give into despair at this pivotal point in time. It is impossible to keep a tiny flame flickering in a storm by yourself. If your hope gets snuffed out, reach over to someone else and allow them to reignite it. Together we can bring light to the darkness.
This quote sums it up nicely.
S/O to Maddie Stearn for editing.
If you find this post valuable and believe in the mission of Mental Health Tings and would like to partner with us financially, you can make a one time donation by buying me a coffee!
You can also make a recurring monthly donation by signing up for our Here for the Blog $10 a month Patreon Tier.
All donations go toward the subscription cost of maintaining the website as well as payment for the various guest bloggers.
Thank you!